in parentheses

SHOW CANDY IN ROTA

Melissa Denice Saunders is a poet, writer, artist and musician born and raised in Boston, Massachusetts. She began her career as a published author penning an advice column in a local alternative weekly newspaper; later as a contributing writer. She currently lives with her son, Carver Magnus, in Olympia, Washington.

I.

The ghost in your cigarette is charming me
Oh yeah
Those licks of white smoke are curling
Like a dancer and
I am seduced by
The sinews and carcinogens
I will not mince words:

Would you like to haunt my curves?

He tastes of red wine and weed and
A warm stranger’s breath in cold October—

It’s cold
But I’m not bitter yet.

The tip of his bitter lust dissolves
On my tongue
And I will later regret not
Swallowing him whole
Our little alpha waves
Pulses and melts
In our shared serum
It idles.
It lulls.
It waits
Until it’s gone.

Let’s ditch this place, man
Fingers interlaced
Crossing the haze
Paths unassuming
But all-knowing
Into the neon Allston streets
That burn bright and toxic with
Insomniac promises.

We could see the sun rise twice if we wanted.

He grabs my face
Pulls me in for a starving kiss
He feels the blood currents throbbing
Clonazepam and electric desire coursing
Through my veins
In my neck and my shoulders—
Oh, God.
Where are my keys?
II.

You say you want to suck my hole
And unearth the
Warmth of my womb
You want to
Spelunk my cave
And debunk my
Dark, burning mystery

And I want to lick
Your frisky limbs
Your whiskey ribs

Can I calm
The calamity against
The canvass of your clammy skin?

Can I?

And what virus am I hosting
Now that I’ve gone and
Let you on in?

Can you smell my womanhood?

I am too selfish to hate myself
Merely because of you
Did you know that
Three days ago
I got out of
the Black Hole Asylum?
Because I acquiesced my madness
And put those pills
On the tip of my tongue?

I ate the show candy
And it sent me into
The realm of ether
Like rot gut in a white-walled womb
I churned and simmered
As I do now
For you

III.

Here now, boy
Taste my body toxic
My brain of mercury
My spirit slain in flame

Here now, boy
Lick my legs
And my pining limbs will
Fail and faint
Like timber to
Your carnal behest

Here now, boy
Suck my show candy

Are we swallowing our ignorance?
Are we eating our own apathy?

I don’t know and
I don’t care.

And I know now that
I am too retardant to bear
The torch of your beautiful sear.

The son don’t shine.
The son don’t shine.

But that was back when
I called us “free fires” and
I thought
“All the world’s ablaze”

Now I am no more than
A captured firefly
My flickering wings break
Against the glass jar
I call home

And I can’t see your smoke signals anymore.