in parentheses

Holly Payne-Strange is [CONCEALED.]

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Demeter’s Head

Everyday I talk to my garden.
To the white pot, now cracked and chipped,
Dirt tumbling through the bottom,
And purple flowers cascading out the top.

I tell her what I want,
And what I’m afraid of,
Spilling the details of my day,
Like birdseed, hoping to attract a little magic.

And I feel such peace,
As if for a moment I have been allowed to land,
Rest a white,
Checking my plumage, seeing what feathers I have lost
And gained
Throughout the day.

The breeze rustles the leaves,
Fresh and cool.
The clouds part, bright sunlight now on my face
And I know
The birdseed worked.

Toys

I am happier now
That I am no longer
Afraid
To play
With
Toys.

Such New Light

Thank you for showing me
This new and dappled world.
Hidden like some underwater kingdom,
Bright and vivid, splashes of color everywhere you look,
But only if you know to look, like some buried treasure,
Or a door whose password was lost, long ago.

I remember that one time I startled you,
Darting away like a shoal of fish
At the the word
Love.

Settling on alterous,
That brackish place between
Romance and friendship, a different
Kind of intimacy, from a different kind of person.
Aromantic.

Still vividly caring,
Like fingers of bright orange coral,
Reaching out through the waves to take my hand.
Still satisfying to my amorous soul, meaningful, deep and real,
Just not romantic.

People ask how we can ‘date’
-Or do whatever it is we are doing-
And the answer is simple, because as
I bask, and swim, and play In this ocean with you
I am
Happy.

Moonlight
It’s okay for you to change and come and go.
Moths in moonlight

The Heart

The heart is a notoriously difficult instrument to play,
So what if, this time, you missed a beat,
The violin not quite in tune
With the cello?

I think you will find that perfection is not the point,
And a song played earnestly is a
Sweet and rare
Gift.

The Universe will doubtless join your song.
She knows more than you think.
Try not to worry,
So much.

Everything

What if everything
Goes well?

What if today is perfect,
And we laugh, and hug and play,
Holding each others hearts gently,
Carefully, like some revered treasure
From a civilization long ago?

What if every word we say is magic?
Discovering the correct phrasing
As if excavating some magnificent temple,
Gold and emeralds shimmering on our lips.

What if you re-discover happiness today?
Maybe just a little
The very first chords
Of some blissful melody,
A new and thrilling tune.
Or
A familiar refrain,
A deep and ancient hum
That fills your bones and never let’s go?

It’s possible. Maybe even probable.

Come with me
And I have a feeling we can make it
True.

Sugar

Dusk,
Light and easy,
Draws close around me.

My wife hurries home after a long, rainy day.
Tonight we will be making cookies for my lover.

Our fireplace
Dances, alive with flame,
And I have everything I need.

The sugar, coarse and sticky, sifted through my fingers.
The vanilla, eggs, butter, all a bounty of flavor and hope.

And soon,
Her, my wife.
Generous, patient.

She is my home, my life, my warmth and happiness.
She was the first person to accept me for who I am.

Polyamourous,
Reflexively loving,
Uninterested in monogamy.

She gave me the freedom to really be myself.
To relax that part of me I was most afraid of.

Not immature,
Certainly not selfish,
Not broken and deficient.

But celebrated, loved, accepted. She is my world,
My sunlight and joy. I am so lucky to have her.

To hold
The universe
I see in her eyes.

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